Online dating depression
During the times I slipped on my hiatus and went on OKCupid, I realized I felt a sense of dread as the homepage loaded because I associated the site with disappointment and rejection.
I hadn't even noticed these feelings before because they were overridden by the hope that I'd get that rare good message.
Back when FOMO was keeping me glued to my apps, I wish someone had reassured me other prospects would come my way if I looked up for a second.2.
Online dating is addictive Right after I decided to stop going on OKCupid, I actually had to stop my hands from typing the "o" into my browser when I wanted a work break (OK I slipped up a few times, I'll admit it).
But once dating stopped being such a big part of my life and I wasn't virtually surrounded by people seeking a partner, I began to realize a few years is not a long time at all.
It just felt long because I wasn't comfortable being single—and I wasn't comfortable being single because I just hadn't allowed myself to be.
I was just looking for fun and maybe a hookup, not a relationship.
Once I let go of the motivation to be coupled up, I lost that sense of urgency because I realized that being single is not unpleasant.
It's actually a lot stressful than being in a suboptimal relationship.6.
Of course, nothing about me had changed, so this line of reasoning didn't actually make any sense.
Once I got over that hump, it was nice to not have people constantly evaluating how good my photos looked, and I think it made me, in turn, a bit less preoccupied with my looks.5.
Between the thrill of receiving a notification and the game-like aspect of swiping, I was no longer even making the conscious choice to engage in it.